Are You a “Scaredy Cat?” Pt. 1

Scaredy Cat Cover copy.jpg

– ­By Thirumur David Kiran

 

A few months back, I reached a pretty alarming conclusion: I don’t like risks.

Scratch that…I hate risks!

In fact, I’ll say it again. I HATE RISKS!

I once maintained that “hate” was a very strong word and should only be used for things such as “crimes against humanity” or “cats” (yes, I am a dog person). Yet I came to see that for me, risks fall under this category as well. Do we not do everything in our power to avoid the things that we hate? If this is the criterion, then it is safe to say that I really do hate risks, for I do everything possible to avoid them.

I’ve not been a risk-taker in the slightest! I fear to take risks because of the logical danger that it holds:

  • I am scared of boats for fear of falling into the water and drowning.
  • I am scared of heights for fear that I might fall.
  • I am scared of trying new things for fear of failure.
  • I am scared of reaching out for fear of rejection.
  • In short, I am scared of taking risks for the fact that there is risk involved.

I guess that makes me a scaredy cat!—And I don’t even like cats! (Apologies to the cat lovers out there)

And I am not alone in this.

As soon as this realization set in, I determined to test it. I asked some hypothetical risk scenario-based questions to a group of students at one of my talks the next day. From the answers that I received from the 200 students in that room I realized that I was not alone in my fear of risks.

But that’s not all. Studies have shown that while the average adolescent may be psychologically predisposed to doing risky things, our desire for stability and safety and knowledge of responsibility kick in once we lose our pimples and our initial facial stubble. The average adult human is perfectly happy to go through life without ever having to take a risk.

In short, we are all scaredy cats as well!

But stop for a minute and think about a world without risks. It would be a world without adventure, a world without success, a world without progress, a world without growth, a world without fun, a world without—dare I say it—purpose.

The paradox of life is that, as much as we don’t like risks, taking risks is what brings about progress and growth in our lives. It is also risk that brings us adventure and joy. In fact, scientists have proven that risk-taking in small doses is almost universally beneficial for your brain and mental health.

Risk-taking causes real changes in the brain, which might account for why risk-takers quickly seem to become adrenaline addicts. Major risks release adrenaline, which can lead to a quick rush, and dopamine, which causes intense feelings of pleasure.

Novel experiences can help to ward off depression and reinvigorate a stale relationship. Risk-taking is often a necessary prerequisite for starting a new business or launching a new career, and the excitement associated with uncertainty can be a powerful antidote to boredom and even depression. Because dopamine produces a natural high, risk-taking behaviors can help you get a positive mood and a new perspective without the risks associated with drug use. [1]

Could that by why, at times when you are in a comfortable position in your life, that you feel a bit stagnant and perhaps a bit bored? I know this is the case for me.

Come to think of it, the few times in my life that I have encountered and faced risk, I will admit that it was not of my own choosing. Rather, I was thrown headlong into it—sometimes even literally!

  • I can remember the time that my father stayed back from a performing trip to another city with our show troupe and I was forced to emcee the performance before a huge crowd for the first time in my life.
  • I can remember the time that my performing arts mentor broke his leg a few days before a big birthday party for a prestigious client that we were organizing and I had to fill in as the host in his absence.
  • I can remember when I was a management understudy and my company was organizing a large nation-wide conference. My overseer—and the main manager of the event—pulled out abruptly due to personal reasons and I had to suddenly step up and manage the event without any prior experience.
  • I can remember the time that I was assigned to take a group of teenagers white-water rafting down the Kennebec River and I stood on the bank, white as a sheet and frozen with fear.
  • I can even remember that I had to be cornered for my first kiss…

And the list goes on and on! Yet, looking at these events now from the wonderful vantage point of hindsight, I see that through every enforced risk came incredible reward!

  • From my first kiss stemmed my first real relationship that taught me much about life and love.
  • From being tossed on stage—unprepared and frightened—stemmed a career in public speaking that I relish today.
  • From my first forced event as a host stemmed a foray in event management that led to the founding of two companies and also helped to kick off an event culture in that city that many people have benefitted from and are continuing to do so.
  • From my first stuttering experience at managing a nation-wide conference stemmed another dozen conferences in India and other parts of the world, enabling me to impact hundreds of lives.
  • From sitting paralyzed with fear in an air-filled raft in a foaming and churning river stemmed one of the most memorable and incredible experiences of my life!

And the list can go on and on… All this from risks that I was pushed into!

Now this makes me wonder, how many things have I missed from risks that I have avoided? How many opportunities have I passed up because they looked risky?

A toddler makes faces at the delicious food in front of them because it has green leafy “thingies” on it. They may stick their tongue out and squirm in their seats and profess that it is “the worst food in the world” and that they “know they don’t like it because they’ve never tried it.” But just as the child never knows what he is missing till he overcomes his fear of vegetables, we will never know the joy and success that we are missing until we overcome our fear of taking risks.

Next week, I am going to go a bit deeper into this subject and expose some negative mindsets that we take towards risk. And then I am going to give you solutions that can help you overcome them. I am trying a few of them myself, and I am seeing positive results already.

See you all next week!

 

[1] http://content.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1869106,00.html

Happiness Challenge

maxresdefault

Yesterday was the “International Day of Happiness” across the world.

From the time I was a kid, I’ve always believed that the best way to find happiness was to make someone else happy. And so I challenged myself to make someone else happy and see how that went. Here are a couple of the things that I did yesterday to spread happiness:

#1 = I paid for an old lady’s shopping as I was leaving the grocery store. I had some bonus in my shopping card and figured that she’d use it more. The look on her face when the cashier told her that her bill was already paid was priceless.

#2 = I sent a short email of appreciation to someone who I hand’t talked to in a while, but who I admired for what they were doing. They wrote me back after a couple of hours saying that they were having a rough day but my note made it a better one for them.

#3 = I spent an hour playing cards with my grandmother in the evening. She was thankful for the time and we both had fun together.

As you can see, I didn’t really do much, but what I did made three people’s days better. And in return, my day was made happier as well.

Random acts of kindness don’t need to take long, be expensive, or require a lot of prep. All it takes is a couple of minutes to make someone’s life happier. Trust me, your life will be happier in return!

Success and Failure Happen in our Minds!

Thought for your Day: It is in the mind where success and failure happen. True, we don’t have much say in all the circumstances, conditions and events around us. Some things are truly out of our control. But what we can control is how we view them and how we respond to them. Our outlook on them determines our reaction towards them. A massive step towards success in any area of your life is realizing that it is not the circumstances that determine where you are and where you go from here, but rather your decisions and your choices–choices fuelled by the right mindsets and attitudes. You can change your life at any moment. All you need to do is change your mind!

PS: If you would like Coaching in the area of developing positive and success-engineering mindsets, please do drop us a mail to directkoaching@gmail.com or to our FB page and we’ll be happy to help you out!

Alter Your Life By Altering Your Mind.jpg

Change Your Routines

Thought for your day. Routines are good, but if they are not regularly re-evaluated, they could end up becoming more harmful than helpful. In order to experience success in any area of your life, one must put rituals into place in order to work towards it. However, if the focus ever slips off from the principle that you are following to merely fulfilling those rituals on a daily basis, you are in jeopardy of losing the success that you had. As one of my favourite quotes goes, “The definition of stupidity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results!” Have a great Tuesday!

PS: If you feel like you can improve in this area and you’d like personal or business coaching, please drop me a mail at directkoaching@gmail.com or here on my FB page and I’d be happy to help you!

“The difference between a rut and a grave is the depth!” – Author Unknown

Difference Between a Grave and a Rut.jpg

Take Time to Think

Thought for your Day: Be sure to take time out from your work to focus your efforts! I learnt the value of this last night when I was an hour early for a dinner appointment with no work on me to do. From that one hour sprang a business plan and direction for my next three months. Time outs are essential for leaders! Have a wonderful Tuesday!

“A minute of thinking is often more valuable than an hour of talk or unplanned work.” – John C. Maxwell

One Minute of Thinking.jpg

Work Hard for Success

Thought of the Day. As the old saying goes, the only place where “success” comes before “work” is in the dictionary. Success is hard work. But it’s worth it!

“Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours.” – Orison Swett Marsden

Success is the Child of